Alua Soul Orotava Valley

Alluringly nestled at the high edge of town between a banana plantation & a wasteland of dire-looking hotels. Location - top of a hill in a dodgy area, no nearby shops. Overlooking some housing projects & a worse-looking hotel.

Rooms - pretty decent in size, mainly clean but weary looking. Curtains mouldy at the bottom. Common area most tired, needing new carpets & paint. Lots of water damage. Bits of concrete missing from the walls outside.

Pool area - too small with limited seating. Need to pay for Bali beds & though the cost is redeemable against food, if you’re on AI, you’re stuffed because you’ve already paid. Pool bar with large queues, drinks given with immense ice cubes so two swigs & gone. Absolute budget offerings. Cringe. If you are on the AI option you can’t order from the pool bar if the restaurant is open, you have to eat there. It’s miles away & infuriating when you have to get dressed to walk there. Pretty much the same food at lunchtime too - it’s a crappy rule. I just wanted a burger & fries. MFC upgrade - pointless as the advertised special pool area = 8 sunbeds that are gone by 8.30, lounge room open only 11-6, horrible “special” restaurant area is a crepuscular corner right by the serving area. Truly unsure what benefits the extra payment is for.

AI drinks - awful! Red wine like chateau paint stripper, rose is rough. Tiny options from a large menu available. Cocktails truly despicable.

Entertainment - infantilising. I appreciate that this is a universal affliction but I truly did not come away to endure shuffleboard, ping pong & pub singers murdering the American songbook. Make it stop.

Food, then. Two more than decent dinners on local fare theme night & Mexican theme but the oriental dinner was revolting. Boring, boring, boring by day 3; everything on repeat. Arrived at 10pm - was given a post it with instructions to order from uber eats, a local alternative or use the vending machines. Really?? No cold plates available for late arrivals?

Only 4 irons/ironing boards for the entire hotel. Laminated card slid across with hotel info at check in - why not just give us a copy?

How does one contact reception? No idea as there are no instructions on the phone, the laminated once-seen card plus the app is central & just offered the option to write a review. When you ask questions for something, they tell you they’ll help then don’t follow through. Late checkout promised then denied. With your checkout goes your AI wristband so no lunch & no soft drinks in the hours before your pickup. A massive rip off.

What this hotel doesn’t advertise is that it’s a local wedding venue so the terrace will be shut off without warning of an evening leaving you stuck in a stuffy bar. You can use the plastic cup pool bar although when we arrived at the pool bar at 8.30pm (advertised hours 11-2200) it was shut. At 2030 on a Saturday night. Marooned as we were at the top of the hill in The AluaSoul Penitentiary, we were stuck.

This is not a 4 star. I’d struggle with 3 star tbh. It’s such a disappointment when you spend so much money to travel, chill & enjoy your holiday. Expect so much better from a brand like Hyatt.

One of our worst holiday experiences.

Having seen recent reviews, I would just like to say…we had a lovely time at AluaSoul Orotava Valley. The rooms are lovely and clean and the staff are pleasant and helpful. North Tenerife is a lovely quiet and authentic Spanish place. We’ve thoroughly enjoyed the peace and quiet and would definitely recommend AluaSoul Orotava Valley.

So, I’m still here - it’s only been 2 nights. Maybe I shouldn’t judge too quickly but I think I’ve got a good feel.

This is a nice hotel. But it’s rather soulless is how I’d describe it and not ideal for a solo traveller.

Sure. I wanted peace and quiet. I’m getting that in spades. But what this hotel is lacking is that ability to create a spontaneous relationship with a bunch of randoms, even if that’s the opposite of what you wanted.

It’s built down a hillside and so the layout is odd, which stops that - I don’t know - central focal point which creates relationships. I’ve done my daily step count just going to breakfast each morning (not quite, but not far off)

Anyway, what’s good:

• rooms are excellent and more like suites - don’t listen to the complainers in other reviews
• food - again, don’t listen to the other people, the food is great and there’s plenty to choose from
• all inclusive drinks are good - again don’t listen to the others - I’ve never been to an AI before where literally everything is included, they need to back off - and just drink beer like me
• clean and the cleaners are so friendly! (Reception and poolside bar staff less so)
• it’s very, very quiet, excellent for relaxing

What’s lacking

• entertainment - bless the poor woman, she’s trying to do it all herself but the entertainment is very poor for an all inclusive where people are compelled to stay at the hotel (because then everything is free!!). Bingo was the most boring game of bingo I think I’ve ever played and there’s only so many times you can hear “ole caramba” in the space of 30 minutes. I watched the pool aerobics but had to stop because I was laughing so much. I don’t know when this woman ever sleeps but I have to commend her energy. I’ve been in smaller hotels with an entertainment team of 7 - she deserves a raise really.
• poor advertising, none of the bars are open when they say they will be - pool bar shuts at 6, and it’s meant to be 10. This is fine, but the pool bar was so much closer to my room, not the mile and a half away to the lobby bar.
• distance. This is a minor bugbear but the sheer distance between any facilities is huge. Plan an afternoon excursion just to get to the lobby bar if you’re on floors 1,2 or 3 - I really don’t know what the architects were thinking with the design, they’d maybe never stayed in a hotel before.

What was a bit bad

• I arrived quite late due to a bad transfer (never using Thomas cook again). There was zero food available - not even a cold platter which is pretty standard for an all inclusive and late arrivals - I hadn’t eaten since midday, I arrived at 11pm, and I did feel that it was pretty shocking. I went to bed starving if I’m honest. For some reason the bars were also shut so I couldn’t even get drunk, so I missed a night of paid all inclusive (making up for it now)
• reading other reviews, I’m a tad wary about my exit, given I have a late transfer again, but I plan to fight on the grounds that I spent a night here starving as above. I shall refuse to remove the wristband!
• they say it’s no smoking but everyone smokes everywhere, it’s pretty rank. I had some Germans on the next balcony smoking which basically ruined my balcony (due to them smoking, not them being German…although…😉😂)

I can’t really fault it properly, if I’m really honest. I just paid a lot of money and so far it’s a bit of a damp squib. Fine, just not the holiday I wanted. Maybe that’s because I was looking forward to it so much, but I’ve paid less and got far more before.

I just wouldn’t say it’s a 4* experience - I’ve had much better in 3* accommodation.

Probably great if you’re a couple in love so the world around you is a blur, not so great if you’re solo or hate your partner.