Rimondi Grand Resort and Spa

RG VILLAGE CRETE aka Rimondi Grand Hotel, Rhethymnon, Crete.

Here we are for the second time at The Rimondi Grand for a holiday. We came last year and loved it after a shaky start, so we decided to return this year. Last year I didn’t feel like writing a review, which is most uncharacteristic of me. This year though I do, so here goes.

Last year my wife bought me the holiday for my birthday, and went all out, booking a room with a swimup private pool. Lovely. When we arrived, two hours late courtesy of Ryanair, we were buggied down to our room and as I got out of the buggy, I walked round the back of it and tripped over the small step up from the pavement. Badly lit and no warning from either a sign or the buggy driver. I’d just had my left knee repaired by a half replacement earlier in the year, and I fell forward flat on my knees (my right one is yet to be repaired thankfully) which was painful for the rest of the holiday. I note that the same step remains without warning signs this year 😳

On arrival this year midday, and thankfully on time, Peny at reception (this seems a Greek spelling, and is correct) was polite, pleasant and perfectly politically correct. An excellent representative of her employer. We were informed that as a result of us being returning guests, we had received a complimentary upgrade to the room Mrs B had selected, but which I this year had paid for, at a rate of £400 more than last year. Jaspreet, again hugely likeable, took us the short walk (hurrah, although up steps, to the room as opposed to on the ground floor) to our upgraded room, a decent size but not much sunbathing space, less privacy at first inspection, and most importantly no pool; my wife thought she had selected, and I had paid for, a suite with a pool. Not the case, said Peny, sadly taking the shine off the envisaged “upgrade”. Apparently we had booked a “basic” room and the RG had upgraded us. We showed them the booking receipt from LoveHoliday, which we’ve used many times, and Reception said that that photo and one attached was not representative of accommodation currently available at the hotel. As a gesture of goodwill, they said we could keep our all-inclusive wristbands right up until the time of leaving. This might have been of use if our coach pickup wasn’t at 0720 when the restaurant doesn’t open for breakfast until 0730…..😳 Seems LoveHoliday may be guilty of misrepresentation unless they’d care to prove otherwise. So my wife requested and paid more for a room with a pool, which proved identical spec to last year. So this year it cost a total of approaching £700 more for the same holiday. Lovely pool though. One more bone of contention was the “City Tax” ie Tourist Tax, which amounted to €210 for fourteen nights, and which my wife doesn’t think was mentioned to us upon arrival, as we thought is customary. This was brought up by reception towards the end of the stay, by which time it caused quite an upset to our finances. MORE outlay for a less than perfect stay 😳 Perhaps reception had thought better of asking for it after we’d just forked out another €300+ for the pool we thought we’d booked 😳

Ok before you get bored reading, here are credits for wonderful service. Nicos, spoken as Nico, who was here last year also and was as fantastic last year as he was this. Friendly, ever-obliging, warm, genuine and sincere. An absolutely perfect host and helper 🙌🏻 Thank you for your part in our holiday from the bottom of our hearts Nico ❤️🤜🏻🤛🏻 Peny was lovely also, and very pleasant in brief conversation when not busy, which understandably was often the case. Jaspreet as mentioned, and Vlada at the restaurant/bar entrance, booking trips and massages. Very helpful, and a good laugh to return to a second year. Maria in the games/snack bar was lovely, nothing but perfectly friendly, cheerful, obliging, and very pleasant to be served by. Her cocktails although premixed if genuine, as opposed to the handmade mocktail equivalent, went down very well. Good luck in your career and life story Maria, you can do whatever you want to do👌🏻🍷 The courtesy bus from the coffee hut was a great idea, €11 return, going on the hour from about 1100 to 2000, last return to the hotel currently 2020, but this can be modified subject to weather, of which last week’s thunderstorms were demonstrative, or demand, so don’t rely on me, check if you go to book.

Room as last year was great, nice big power shower which was as hot or cold as you wanted for as long as you needed. You need to book room service a day in advance on the hotel website under Services, which can be a bind if you don’t demand immaculate surroundings 14/14 but need the wc bin or the lounge bin emptied. We just texted the reception on the WhatsApp number they provide, which is also ideal for booking a buggy up to the main restaurant from your room if lazy or infirm, and a maid knocks, enters, and sees to the bins. An unexpected surprise was a linen change the day before we came home - very welcome for our last night’s sleep ❤️ Thank you for that.

Entertainment seems minimal at this time of year presumably because of dwindling guest numbers as the season draws to a close. There’s a lovely little treelined amphitheatre sort of affair which could be home to so much 😳

Food was a mixed affair this year after being quite good last year. There is plentiful slow cooked pork, beef or lamb, as well as chicken gyros and a good selection of fresh fish, but not much beyond a basic sauce accompanied it. It’s very good quality though. Plenty of pasta-orientated dishes, cheeses, hams and salamis, and vegetables. Not so evident is fresh fruit eg apples bananas and oranges, which may have been cut back due to wastage levels or ?seasonality. Kiwi fruit and melon abounded, as did red and green grapes. The green grapes were sweeter 😋Also scarce were mushrooms- have seen them once, sliced in a pasta dish. ADENDUM - These formed part of lunchtime’s stuffed aubergines, yum. Also just had mushroom pie for tea - masterpiece 😋🙌🏻 No mushroom availability for breakfasts whatsoever though 🙄 Breakfast by the way is excellent for the soul taken early out by the pool looking towards Rhethymnon town down below, and the perfect sea beyond ❤️

Sun terraces and pools are plentiful, our favourite was the one next to the snack bar which got uninterrupted sun all day and refreshments and snacks were nearby 😋 The best tzatziki I’ve tasted was to be found here 😋👌🏻 However, there seems to have been an increase on the number of dogs in the valley on last year; they could frequently be heard having barking conversations up and down the valley which wasn’t the best for tranquil relaxation 😳This of course is no fault of the hotel, just an observation.

The music over the tannoy near the terraces is welcome, and relaxing in the morning with a lovely female voice delivering chillout ballads, but changes to jungle drum disco-type music in the afternoon when it’s nicer to be relaxing peacefully in the sun after lunch and a couple of drinks maybe. I Whatsapped reception to see if they had any control over this, and fully apologising if I spoke out of turn, which after a short while produced a heavily AI composed reply stating although I was in no way out of turn, they stuck to a regulated playlist over which they had no control, in order to “please everyone” so to speak, and to provide varied listening material. While I understood the limitations to a certain degree, it was therefore a little bewildering to be subjected to the self same playlist for the ensuing two days, totalling a therefore identical three days’ tuneage so far. By the third day, I could predict precisely when after lunch Nelly Furtado’s “Man eater” would again be gracing our ears.

So, thank you all, but we think we’re returning to Kos next year which is more to our liking. Peaceful and personal. Oh and LoveHolidays, we think you’ve seen the last of our bookings if your AI review monitor is picking this up. Unless you’d care to make things right. Please however don’t insult us by offering £100 credit off future bookings. It’ll take a bit more than that to restore our faith.

One last note- last year my wife requested a special “anything” to accompany our arrival to the room to celebrate a milestone for me. That didn’t happen, nor had she received any confirmation of her original request being possible or not. Similarly, I emailed info@rgvillagecrete.com THREE times before our arrival this year requesting a token of our welcome as returning guests, like I’d done to great effect before at previous stays at our favourite Kos hotel. Not even a reply to any of them, and not even a bottle of house red in the room upon arrival , nor accompanied by a compliments slip. Info@rgvillagecrete.com, you leave a lot to be desired.

To finish on a positive, thank you once again to Nicos, Maria and Peny, the standout members of your team. Superb examples of how to make sure guests enjoy their holiday as much as possible. Also the kitchen/ restaurant staff, who worked efficiently keeping things plentiful and tidy. They must despair at the food waste sometimes - we do our best not to contribute to that by not taking too much to start with, and trying to finish our plates completely where possible. My wife and were horrified one evening where (embarrassingly) an English couple piled their plates high with spaghetti bolognaise and had two glasses of Pepsi, only to walk off having only had a forkful of pasta each, and one mouthful of drink.

The usual AI generated reply will of course be as welcome as ever. Maybe a few things to pay attention to.

Every meal felt like a highlight. The chefs clearly care about quality and flavor. Combined with the serene environment, attentive staff, and wide range of facilities, the resort delivers a complete and satisfying experience.